is there any way that you can set up a procram that allows oyu to connect to another persons pc and acess their files i want to help a friend set up a 4d1 server?

You want to create a dedicated server for IW5M, correct?

Check this thread, it's a tutorial on it:

viewtopic.php?f=30&t=11583

You can use something like teamviewer to do that.