Перейти к содержимому
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Zloplay community

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Опубликовано:

>Go out with friends (as I have real life)

>Spend some time

>Come back home

>Get on 4D1 forums

>Notice 121 unread posts in '/dev/urandom'

>Get mad

>Make a topic about myself being mad

Featured Replies

Опубликовано:

Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>begin waddling towards escape hatch

>BANG BANG BANG

>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH

>be Canadian, quite confused

>continue waddling as fast as I can

>cops break door down

>they begin sprinting towards me

>one gets caught in my intranet

>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long

>whatever

>cop begins shooting me

>dive behind Fermi pile

>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time

>grab my Thinkpad

>escape hatch blocked by cans

>prepare for final stand

>cop comes around corner

>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad

>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0

>another cop rounds corner

>shoots me

>absorbed in my fat, bounces off

>this angers me

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>cop jumps through can pile

>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos

>runs back out screaming

>jump in my get-away serialkillervan

>mom runs out of house

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>rev up car

>cop cars begin coming around corner

>speed off

>they chase me

>they have no drivers and crash into poles

>an entire polish parade

>1.7% of the parade survive

>more cops behind me

>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS

>helicopter appears above me

>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped serialkillervan

>it bluescreens

>jump out of door

>hit the floor

>everyone do the dinosaur

Опубликовано:
  • Автор
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>be Canadian, quite confused

>one gets caught in my intranet

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>an entire polish parade

>everyone do the dinosaur

I kept the best parts.

Опубликовано:
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>begin waddling towards escape hatch

>BANG BANG BANG

>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH

>be Canadian, quite confused

>continue waddling as fast as I can

>cops break door down

>they begin sprinting towards me

>one gets caught in my intranet

>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long

>whatever

>cop begins shooting me

>dive behind Fermi pile

>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time

>grab my Thinkpad

>escape hatch blocked by cans

>prepare for final stand

>cop comes around corner

etc...

Опубликовано:
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>begin waddling towards escape hatch

>BANG BANG BANG

>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH

>be Canadian, quite confused

>continue waddling as fast as I can

>cops break door down

>they begin sprinting towards me

>one gets caught in my intranet

>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long

>whatever

>cop begins shooting me

>dive behind Fermi pile

>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time

>grab my Thinkpad

>escape hatch blocked by cans

>prepare for final stand

>cop comes around corner

>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad

>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0

>another cop rounds corner

>shoots me

>absorbed in my fat, bounces off

>this angers me

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>cop jumps through can pile

>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos

>runs back out screaming

>jump in my get-away serialkillervan

>mom runs out of house

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>rev up car

>cop cars begin coming around corner

>speed off

>they chase me

>they have no drivers and crash into poles

>an entire polish parade

>1.7% of the parade survive

>more cops behind me

>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS

>helicopter appears above me

>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped serialkillervan

>it bluescreens

>jump out of door

>hit the floor

>everyone do the dinosaur

 

>looking at post

>thinking

>saying TLDR

Опубликовано:
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>be Canadian, quite confused

>one gets caught in my intranet

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>an entire polish parade

>everyone do the dinosaur

I kept the best parts.

kept best parts.

 

QUADFIRE 7970s
Опубликовано:

>be in year five

>friend asks me "how do you spell 'icup'?"

>"i see you pee"

>laughing stock of the school

>everyone calls me a pervert, even teachers

>relentless bullying

>20 years later

>be 29, live in same town

>be out, enjoying myself with some friends

>old school friends occasionally bring it up and i just laugh and go along with the joke

>go home

>spy on their children

>take pictures of their tiny dicks

>masturbate all day

>i cant think of an ending

>tfw

[attachment=0]1296357121991.jpg[/attachment]

Опубликовано:
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>begin waddling towards escape hatch

>BANG BANG BANG

>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH

>be Canadian, quite confused

>continue waddling as fast as I can

>cops break door down

>they begin sprinting towards me

>one gets caught in my intranet

>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long

>whatever

>cop begins shooting me

>dive behind Fermi pile

>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time

>grab my Thinkpad

>escape hatch blocked by cans

>prepare for final stand

>cop comes around corner

>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad

>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0

>another cop rounds corner

>shoots me

>absorbed in my fat, bounces off

>this angers me

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>cop jumps through can pile

>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos

>runs back out screaming

>jump in my get-away serialkillervan

>mom runs out of house

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>rev up car

>cop cars begin coming around corner

>speed off

>they chase me

>they have no drivers and crash into poles

>an entire polish parade

>1.7% of the parade survive

>more cops behind me

>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS

>helicopter appears above me

>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped serialkillervan

>it bluescreens

>jump out of door

>hit the floor

>everyone do the dinosaur

 

Isn't that your steam description? ._.

Опубликовано:

>be in year five

>friend asks me "how do you spell 'icup'?"

>"i see you pee"

>laughing stock of the school

>everyone calls me a pervert, even teachers

>relentless bullying

>20 years later

>be 29, live in same town

>be out, enjoying myself with some friends

>old school friends occasionally bring it up and i just laugh and go along with the joke

>go home

>spy on their children

>take pictures of their tiny dicks

>masturbate all day

>i cant think of an ending

>tfw

i approve

Опубликовано:
>in kindergarten

>see girl I like

>Lay down besides her at naptime

>I kiss her neck

>next day

>I lay down besides her again

>kiss her on the lips

>slide my hand up her shirt

>fall asleep

>next day

>lay down, but on the same mat with her

>take off her clothes and put my dick up her ass

>use her blood for lube

>take my dick out and cum in her mouth

>she cries and says she never wants to see me again

>she tells her parents

 

Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.

 

/me with no behavior

Опубликовано:
  • Автор
>in kindergarten

>see girl I like

>Lay down besides her at naptime

>I kiss her neck

>next day

>I lay down besides her again

>kiss her on the lips

>slide my hand up her shirt

>fall asleep

>next day

>lay down, but on the same mat with her

>take off her clothes and put my dick up her ass

>use her blood for lube

>take my dick out and cum in her mouth

>she cries and says she never wants to see me again

>she tells her parents

 

Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.

 

/me with no behavior

Get out of my fucking thread k00p.

Опубликовано:
>be yesterday
>13:15, still at home
>class starts at 13:20
>go to school with bike, so I don't be late
>be late anyway
>after school
>go to coffee with a girl, follow her home
>go home, hours later remember I left my bike in school yard
>walk all the way to schoolyard, doors locked
>luckily, friend stole school keys before and copied them
>walk 2km to his home and back to school
>intend to take schoolyard keys, take my bike out, and return the keys
>break the fuck in
>as soon as i'm in, see lots of people there, most be some professor conference or shit
>run the fuck out
>go back home

>be today
>go to school
>end of the classes
>go into schoolyard
>no_bike.avi
>rage excessively
>search a bit around town on popular places for tards with stolen bikes
>can't find it
>rage excessively
>go home
>go to PC
>write this
[img=http://pl.memgenerator.pl/mem-image/true-story-bro-pl-ffffff-1]

0/10 not fluent and clearly false

Опубликовано:
Here's mine.

 

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door

>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE

>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)

>begin waddling towards escape hatch

>BANG BANG BANG

>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH

>be Canadian, quite confused

>continue waddling as fast as I can

>cops break door down

>they begin sprinting towards me

>one gets caught in my intranet

>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long

>whatever

>cop begins shooting me

>dive behind Fermi pile

>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time

>grab my Thinkpad

>escape hatch blocked by cans

>prepare for final stand

>cop comes around corner

>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad

>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0

>another cop rounds corner

>shoots me

>absorbed in my fat, bounces off

>this angers me

>release the bear

>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop

>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him

>he dies from disgust

>cop jumps through can pile

>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos

>runs back out screaming

>jump in my get-away serialkillervan

>mom runs out of house

>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO

>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY

>rev up car

>cop cars begin coming around corner

>speed off

>they chase me

>they have no drivers and crash into poles

>an entire polish parade

>1.7% of the parade survive

>more cops behind me

>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS

>helicopter appears above me

>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped serialkillervan

>it bluescreens

>jump out of door

>hit the floor

>everyone do the dinosaur

nice copypasta

Опубликовано:

 

Kay, ask FlaCCidCookie, I told him yesterday I gotta go in school to pick up my bike, however, I never brang it back.

Too bad it's stolen today, but getting a car soon anyways.

 

"brought". Anyway, wonder who stole your bike.. *cough*

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Гость
Ответить в тему...

Сейчас на странице 0

  • Нет пользователей, просматривающих эту страницу

Важная информация

Используя этот сайт, вы соглашаетесь Условия использования.

Account

Navigation

Поиск

Поиск

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.