A node of interest. Node? With a D?
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quite funny actually. most people who are lazy in school wind up getting set back by one year, maybe two, or put down to a lower level if they had already reached secondary by that point - nothing too devastating.
now, let's look at another example: me!
from age 4 to 7, I had already developed such a *hate* for 'school', that I wound up doing anything I could to get away from it - oh, yes, I did still go, but I wound up making random scenes in various ways (shouting, pushing people, hitting people, lying on the floor, ...), eventually necessitating being sent home (well, 'waiting for my mother to pick me up') daily.
as it 'obviously' couldn't continue that way, in the end (September/October of 2000?) I was, well, gotten rid of. now, this was not at all due to being *lazy*, oh, not at all - I was 2 years ahead of my age, did certain classes on a level another year ahead, and the few things that still interested me were doing just fine.
so, 6 months after, I wound up in a psychiatric institution with plans being to be placed in a nearby special education location, presumably this weird 'special case' class already, as the following paragraph written some time ago for another story explains:
anyway, as I somehow was not very, well, obedient in that facility (possibly mainly resisting cases where I had to do a) chores or
the everyone-in-their-room-do-something-on-your-own hours which were horribly boring due to the lack of ability to observe/interact with other people), it eventually wound up taking a year and two months, with my 'stability' not having gotten much, well, better.
sometime before that, I was already in the aforementioned class; and things seemed to be going relatively fine for the first 1-2 years.
after that (let's say, 2003?), I wound up with firstly a shift in the educational material -- from 'later primary' to 'earlier secondary', though still had a complete lack of guidance or lesson plans. as this evidently couldn't bring the required amount of interest, a year after I got placed in a one-on-one 'side chamber' with a (somewhat-weak female) 'staff person' (can't really call them teachers, as they don't teach anything, they're more like the staff in psychiatric institutions), which went fine for the first half year.
and again, after that, a lack of interest started again; mainly as in my opinion these workbooks (which were intended to be completed within (half) a school year) were being completed way too slowly due to the lack of lesson plans - and some of the other placed 'lessons' were just, well, annoying, due to the same lack of guidance, presumably. so, resistance, being dragged away, suspended another 2 times, fine, fine, fineeee.
then, another day, another case of being dragged away, this time I was able to kick a letter box off a wall while being dragged, whoa, strike three, awesome, what, leave the building and you're no longer allowed to enter? well, fuck, as I was told I had to go to some weird facility for manyyears if that event would ever happen, which would make it impossible for me to do... well... my interesting server/web stuff!
anyway, as I was later told, that never happened as at home I was mostly 'manageable' - heck, the suggested alternative by government people was being placed in a juvenile prison... and from that point on I was no longer attending any education.
for a few months?, my mother tried to resolve that situation, but eventually gave up; nobody seemed to have any interest in me with the violent parts of my past. (hey, explain to me, how is this legal? oh, wait, there's an exception where in case the child was not able to attend school due to psychological issues, an exception could be granted. just my luck!)
I also used to be scared to even mention the fact that I wasn't attending any education to anyone, as there 'could very well have been a person who reported it, and then I'd be placed in such a facility for the rest of the coming years.'
anyway, let's interject here - if around the usual start of secondary education, and ignoring the past violence (as it was all response to physical restraint) an attempt would have been made at insertion into standard 'first year of secondary education' at an appropriately-challenging level (or even those hybrid levels that normal people in NL may have wound up in the first year, with the final level only being decided at the end), and no expectation was made of a full issue-less execution (with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS to provide as reason), things would presumably have wound up just fine. then again, nobody did that.
so, after moving to the land of opportunity beautiful Dutch-like languages that have been completely fucked over by someone inserting a lot of " characters and verbosity, my brother got assigned to a school the 'usual way', with again nobody bothering to care about me, as I was doing just fineeeeeeee coding around and such.
well, except for a mention at one conversation with the director of my brother's school, which eventually wound up in a full-scale attempt in September of 2009. now, academically, that attempt went 'as expected' - despite not knowing the language nor any of the subject matter apart from English, I went along just fine - it was more the social part that completely fucked up, as a nice side effect of the past lack of social experience developed...
... 'references'. me performing unfair comparisons to (in this case) people who have been in the educational system and whatnot for most of their conscious life, who have been together in the same class for 4+ years, and that eventually causing a huge amount of emotional instability - mostly instant at a 'reference-causing' event, which even to this day can and will cause symptoms such as elevated temperature perception, hyperactivity, depression-like mood changes, anger and a number of other fun things.
during a long chain of events, these references caused me to be 'suspended' for 2 weeks, during which I missed a certain introduction into what would be done the first day of 'school' (technically, a work experience case) after the suspension, during which I would have been able to state I did not want to do such (and as I read last year, that actually was an option for me - ha-ha, yes, I actually was allowed to not do as much as I didn't want to do, just that I mostly forced myself to do those things as I wanted to be more like the other students, and it never got through to me that I actually was able to say 'screw you, I'm not doing this' to anything; rather, I just wound up silently crying in those cases as I somehow couldn't get myself to do the things the other students seemed able to do without any problems)
anyway, then a disagreement came with the 'aide' I was forced to have during that case (1 month in I stated I did not want her -- yes, another weak female! -- to even be present anymore, as I wanted to do stuff on my own and only found her presence restricting), I went a bit emotional and somewhat violent, and as she was a 'weak female', she pretty much didn't want anything to do with me anymore after that.
so, then I was out of education, again, but this time over the year after, more people came along to mainly talk about the past issues, but none really came to a proper solution at all - most were surprised at how it was never attempted to place me there without any aide or whatnot.
some later cases in another psychiatric facility and non-mainstream 'get a low-level completion certificate and gtfo' locations had similar issues - emotional instability caused by me being, well, too different from the other people, and no matter how I pushed myself to 'be more sociable', I could never get myself to do such to the majority of the people I came across there (let alone being able to understand people with large amounts of background sound, like the earlier school hallways during breaks), and neither did they like my 'weirdness' much.
anyway, it's amazing how people can be lazy all the time and yet only get screwed over slightly, while other people like me never even got a proper chance to recover due to having been out of the system for years, and therefore being really easily emotionally affected - psychological trauma caused by the realization of the years I had lost being out of the system from 2000 to 2009? seems like it.
heck, any future scenario where I'd be with 'peers' has the threat of being endangered by such emotional instability, even if I would manage to initiate and maintain contact with the probable average of 1/10-1/20 of people in a 'generic' sample being used for contact in case of simultaneous insertion, later realizations (for instance, of having less contact than some of the other people I'd come across) could very well affect emotional stability in a similar way.
if any such scenario would ever occur within time, at least I now somewhat have a description of what causes such, unlike in 2010 where I couldn't clearly state any of the problems I had during that era before being removed from the scenario. heck, at least it's not the language that'd prevent social interaction, if anything would be prevented by it it's more likely to be anything outside of that.
(in the end, I apologize to any readers who can't read the way I state things here - most of these things are really hard to get into words in any of the languages I speak, and English is the most fluid of all for longer writings nowadays as Dutch has been underused in the past years; sadly this also makes for the German people who need to understand my issues to be unable to read any of the things I write about them to full effect)