The game starts with the narration of Woods, Mason's old companion. He starts to describe one of the missions when he and Mason had to kill Mikhail Gorbachev, former USSR president, but when Mason arrived at Gorbachev's presidental palace, he stopped by his wife's room. There's a cutscene where Woods is standing outside, guarding the door, telling Mason to hurry the fuck up. We hear Mason saying "Mrs. Gorbachev, take off those panties! Now, prepare your anus!". Gorbachev sees them on surveillance system, and heads for his wife's room. Outside of the room, there's Woods. Mikhail shoots Woods and thinks he's dead, but he's actually not. Mikhail enters the room and stands horrified seeing Mason fistfucking his wife, while Woods gets up and gives Mikhail a suprise buttsex. They have a pretty wild gangbang.

 

Even though mission is called a failure, Mason felt like a winner because he shoot lots of load into Gorbachev's wifey. Story skips fast forward 25 years and we see Mason's son, half Russian, half American, whole faggot, abused as a child by Woods, which left him craving for cock for the rest of his life. And now he's sent on a mission to kill Woods. And there he is, in the military base, when we see all hell breaking loose. Their mechs started being crazy, killing their own men. You survive by running to cover and crying your eyes out untill mechs get destroyed by other men, real men. The only reason Mason's son has been accepted in the millitary in the first place, was because of his famous dad and because he sucked off one of the people recruiting, who was also a faggot.

 

The story goes back to the old Mason, speaking with Woods. Woods is telling him a story how he found some mechanism on one of his missions that he uses cum as a fuel... he also knew that mechanism can be used to design chips that can think on their own, to some degree, they would still have to obey human orders, and power friendly mechs, but he didn't give it much attention at the beginning. Instead, he makes another engine prototype that uses cum as fuel, and later he earns shitload of money from it, in dark times when stopping by the sperm bank and getting a gallon of cum was cheaper than buying a gallon of gas. Out of that money, Woods goes to an IT class, and does a series of medical procedures to preserve his body in such way, that he wouldn't get old so quickly. His elixir of youth was Bread with special kind of flour. So, he was one very energetic 105 year old man. Later he got interested in programming the mechs too, and he sold his concepts to US Army.

 

Skip back to 1 day before mechs invaded US Army. Police gets a warrant to search Wood's basement, which he turned into a sex dungeon full of minor boys. He kills the cop and fucks the corpse. Later he finds out there's a whole police squadron moving in for the arrest. He fires up his prototype cum powered mech which kills all the cops. Just as whole army is about to go for killing woods, he thinks of an epic plan.

 

Story flashes back to old Mason, riding horse with Woods through the desert and shooting people for no obvious reason. But then they stop by some cave, and Woods enters, Mason still shooting sandniggers runing into him, and when Woods come back he was holding something made of chrome, that resembled the shape of Bread. He said that was the cave he found the mechanism at first, and what he has is called "The allspark". It can be used to control mechs, as it's the last example of detachable mech sex organ, and they will obey all orders just to recieve it.

 

Now, the story flashes back to the young Mason, and you're already having a headache from all the flashing back and forth and confusing story. He's running around from mechs, literally shitting his pants from fear, and he calls his dad while fresh diarrhea is running down his thigh. He told him what happened, and his dad immediatelly knew what's going on! He then starts telling the story about Woods, while the game instantly switches to Woods view. We see him sending text message to all the mechs, saying he's got the allspark, and they must protect him. On the other side Mason & Mason finally meet up, and decide to kill woods once and for all.

 

Masons are on a mission, killing all mechs. Well, the old one is killing, while younger one is covering ears when old is shooting. They finally arrive at Woods mansion. He lets them in. The situation gets pretty tense, as Mason is pointing a gun at Woods. Mason's son is having a boner meanwhile, wanting Woods to rape him again. He slowly goes into a corner and strokes his dick while crying when he remembers all the abuse. The old Mason finds about what Woods did to his son just now, and decides to shoot him. He shoots Woods 4 times, but Woods was overdosed on Bread that day and he couoldn't die so easily. Mason stopped shooting, looking at Woods in disbelief, while Woods raises his gun and shoots Mason in the head. He the proceeds to fuck his corpse, and makes young Mason do it too. After they were done with the corpse, Woods fuck they young Mason. They were repeating the process for the next 40 years, every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, untill Woods died, when there was another crisis and Bread got even more expensive than the gas, so he couldn't have his elixir anymore. The end.

after I got to the 3rd line of this story... I fucking die laughing. BRAVO MAN!

Wat.

why are you reading this

after I got to the 3rd line of this story... I fucking die laughing. BRAVO MAN!

 

Oh well, if this amuzes more people, I shall write a sequel!

 

 

Wat.

why are you reading this

Dat. Read again, pretty easy to understand.

I'll read this tommorow prob. Until then...

 

Wat.

Mother of boredom.

I died! xD

"half Russian, half American, whole faggot"

 

I actually L'dOL.

Jesus fucking christ, I love this.

Now, the story flashes back to the young Mason, and you're already having a headache from all the flashing back and forth and confusing story.

 

lolol

I'd have preferred you actually left.

I'd have preferred you actually left.

 

And I'd have preferred you just perma-banned Sophos instead of deleting it, if you already hate me so much.

 

Also, I never said I'd leave completely, just post much less.

what

the

hell

is

that

supposed

to

be

, while Woods gets up and gives Mikhail a suprise buttsex. They have a pretty wild gangbang. The end.

.-.

This would be a perfect COD story!

Story of blops 2:

 

Kill person A.

Kill person B.

Receive person A.

Nuke.

You are a mega god.

The end.

Dafuq did I just read..?

This story isn't NSFW enough.