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Опубликовано:

intended to write a long post in a more formal style, but as my brain is completely fucked up, I seem unable to do such.

 

anyway, I'm annoyed at pretty much being in a 'dead end' as for my further development; any tertiary education seems to need a proper proof of secondary education still, any external ways to get secondary education certificates only give you low-level ones which don't grant access to proper tertiary education but only some german wtf case which is completely crap as far as 'continued education' and 'outside-of-this-shit-country acceptance' compared to the dutch similar case (and the medium-level secondary actually granting access to a proper case as opposed to the naziland one)

 

in the meantime my brain seems to have completely fucked up, over the past months my focus issues have increased more, my sleep cycles seem to commonly wind up being 1 day of sleeping followed by 18 hours of being awake, I can't be bothered typing with capital letters on forums, my responses have gotten more sarcastic, I haven't written any code for nearly a month, it's like the HL2 EP1/2 Overwatch 'low-power' mode with sentence fragments such as 'ongoing sector sweep. biotics confirmed. continue surface sector sweep. remote compliance. exterminate. seek passive signature imprint. mandate sublevel restrictions.' which actually is similar to the so-called 'fallback' mind state which seems related to 'references' (i.e. people I compare-too-much to mentioning stuff which annoys me more) with words such as 'level 2 object validation sequence. segmentation validity referencing. control. maintain. persist.' - fun fact: the fourDeltaOne name originated from such sequences - which also happens more commonly with people I've acquainted in person.

 

then again, some things did improve, I seem commonly capable to actually talk about situation-related things to the people who actually need to know about those things, although they've directed me to 'write up an email recommending yourself to some educational institution to see if either a) some exception can be made to not require any preexisting stuff or B) there's an alternative shorter path to entry', though that was actually my idea in a long email I wrote to another person, the length of which actually surprises me. anyway, I still seem to have some annoying blockade preventing me from looking up such educational institutions, mainly a lack of knowing valid german search terms and my common 'no german allowed on my systems' implicit policy, let alone me being able to write the email (I've thought out parts of it, yes, also explaining reasoning for the past lack of education and the fuckups on the part of the prior institutions I've been in) in this state. at least I'm assuming that the to-be recipients actually know how to read english, as other people I've written to mainly ignore half of the text in their attempts to translate keeping the main sense of the text but losing all of the 'power' and 'convincing writing style'.

 

then there's a few other things that seem to be annoying, but they're irrelevant and possibly incorrect, so screw those.

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Опубликовано:

You should try Distance learning. Particularly: http://www.open.ac.uk/

 

It covers most of Europe and doesn't have any formal entry requirements to study their undergraduate courses. Although I am not sure how much of it is true, you should enquire about that.

Опубликовано:
Why German ? That is one of the hardest languages I think.

I am German and the fucking government is changing Language Spelling Rules every 2 Years.

Because in Germany you obviously need German. Isnt that obvious?

Опубликовано:
Why German ? That is one of the hardest languages I think.

I am German and the fucking government is changing Language Spelling Rules every 2 Years.

Because in Germany you obviously need German. Isnt that obvious?

That's wrong. I'm seeing many people who speaking English, Dutch and Persian.

Опубликовано:
Why German ? That is one of the hardest languages I think.

I am German and the fucking government is changing Language Spelling Rules every 2 Years.

Because in Germany you obviously need German. Isnt that obvious?

That's wrong. I'm seeing many people who speaking English, Dutch and Persian.

So what? That doesnt mean that the official language is not German.

Опубликовано:

there is whats called REM deficit. I don't know your age, but age effects the quantity of REM required but your body keeps tabs on the amount of REM you are getting and if the amount is insufficient it keeps a tally and will eventually force you to make it up. Problem lies in the period of time as one approaches the end of their rope so to speak. This REM deficit can cause sleep psychosis and many other bizarre symptoms due to the fact that one starts to exist in the boundary between being awake and being asleep. Be careful and get the rest you need. Nothing is more hazardous, truly

  • 4 weeks later...
Опубликовано:

Godbless you NTA btw, and all that you do. If you CANNOT continue. I completely understand, but try to rest man, I REALLY ENJOY YOUR WORK. But real life is most important. Bye Freund Bye vriend

Опубликовано:

One hell of a ride NTA, one hell of a ride.

actually made the internet worthwhile for a minute there.

i hereby extend my personal thanks, to you, and i'm sure i speak for thousands of other 4D1 gamers, whether known to you or to the community or not. I deeply regret the grievances this project has brought you, and i wish you peace, from the bottom of my heart.

take it easy, mang.

Опубликовано:

I have no fuckin idea what the fuck is going on right now... but no one can REALLY help you (NTA) because they are not experiensing the same thing like you. We can only help you to HELP you in some way. But you are not the only one who is annoyid by things. Me and many others also have sleeping issues... as you read this or not the time here is now 3:15 AM and I think that I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. I usually go to sleep at 6 AM and wake up somewhere at 12 AM or earlier. Doing that everyday makes you mad as fuck at many things. This is like a disease that is hard to stop but you cannot let it control you in full... it's just something you have to win so you would be able to sleep like normal people (9h at least).

 

And I know what you mean with the German language. I studiet it in school for 2 courses only and I gave up. It just made me mad as fuck because I couldn't understand or learn the words properly.

 

But your life is just harder than mine... you practially don't sleep at all and you produce 2-3 games (and that's a HELL OF A CODE lines). Even Bill Gates couldn't do what you do. Especially when you only get complaints about this and that... that is not working that is bad make this make that... or fags like RevOps who just like to steal all your works, they all could suck it.

All I can say is I hope that you can get yourself back on track without any consequences.

 

P.S. If some of you AlterRev fags is reading this I hope that you already know that this is also the end of your fucks life. Without NTA's code/skills you all are useless.

Опубликовано:

hi NTAuthority,

As you can see from my posts I am new here, but old in years 35.

honestly have no answer to your problems because it would have to know all the German school system,a and you will not be able to explain to me. But life has taught me that we must always fight for what we want, we can not directly get where we want, or even do not get there, but we can get similar to that and can be good.

Many people are with you and support you, but to help you only someone who is within the school system

Опубликовано:

^spam much?

Опубликовано:

Even though you wan't to have some time off or retire, I don't see a valid reason for you to shut the whole project down.

I'd suggest that you get more devs and more games to expand to. This community should not be based on a few games alone. I don't mean that the games should be free, on the contrary, I believe people are here to see modifications of the games they like. Modifications like the games were meant to be. I really was looking for the steam-like client, which would have connected the whole community and the games into one great experience, Anyways, good luck :)

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